The passage
      v18. In Christ there is neither male nor female. We are all one. Yet, this heavenly reality does not supersede the reality of created human existence. Not only did God create "kinds", but ordered the hierarchy of created "kinds". This order allows society to function in peace and so gives us the space to search out the living God. Yet, the heavenly reality should, where possible, emancipate the practical necessities of life. So, a wife should "submit" to her husband, but only as "is fitting in the Lord." The principle of "oneness" in Christ will humanize the relationship between a husband and a wife, moving it toward partnership rather than subjection.
      v19. In the ancient world, a wife had little redress under the law. A husband could mistreat his wife with impunity. Yet, such behavior is not acceptable in the Christian fellowship. A husband, because of his position of power, is not to harm his wife. A husband is to love his wife. "Love" is used here in the sense of "care" (compassion), not sexual affection.
      v20. Ancient household rules required children to obey their parents, and Paul affirms that this rule also stands in the Christian home. It is assumed, of course, that believing parents will only ask their children to act in a way that is "acceptable" (rather than "pleasing") to God.
      v21. If children are to obey, parents are not to be harsh. Parents must not be unreasonable in their demands such that their children loose heart. Such discipline makes sense, for as an old saying puts it, "a father who is always threatening does not receive much reverence." In Ephesians, Paul gives the positive side when he writes, "bring them up in the nurture and instruction of the Lord", Eph.6:4.
      v22-24. For some reason, Paul has quite a bit to say about slacking slaves. Don't be men-pleases, but work with all your heart. Work with the thought that you are working for Jesus. Again, Paul accepts the existing social framework, although as slavery is not within God's design for society he certainly does not encourage the institution. In fact, elsewhere he encourages slaves to seek freedom (legally), where possible. Ultimately, all believers are freedmen in Christ, 1Cor.7:21-22.
      v25. This warning is directed particularly to the Christian slaves at Colossae. They are reminded that just because they are believers, even possibly working for a Christian master, they are not immune from a master's punishment. This, in itself, is a good reason to be obedient, but let their obedience come from the heart.
      4:1. As slaves have duties, so have masters. They should treat their slaves with the same consideration they desire from their Master in heaven. In writing to Philemon, Paul suggests he should actually consider freeing his slave Onesimus, v12-14.

Order and ideal
      Paul doesn't seek to reshape the social structure of Roman society in the first century, but he certainly wants to Christianize the way believers function within it. This means that we are left with ethical principles for the development of personal relationships that apply to any social structure which serves to provide social order, while at the same time being less than the heavenly ideal. So, with our eyes set on the heavenly ideal of "all one", while at the same time accepting the limitations of the secular given, let us strive to peacefully image the heavenly reality in our own life, in that of our Christian fellowship and in the wider secular community.
      When we look back and consider the evil of slavery, it is encouraging to know that Christians led the charge to outlaw what was clearly an evil human activity. Yet, those changes were only made in recent history. Christians did not quickly move from humanizing (Christianizing) the institution to outlawing the institution. Thankfully, a recognition of the injustice of slavery prompted a wider concern for the exploitation of the poor in workhouse or factory, such that today, the notion of "a fair day's pay for a fair day's work" is the norm, not the exception.
      Marriage has similarly become a difficult ethical area for believers. Most people today see marriage as a partnership of compatible equals, each sharing their particular natural abilities for the development of their family. In western societies, the notion of a wife's "submission" is foreign outside Christian (and Islamic/ethnic - old world) circles. This issue extends to the role of "elder" ("bishop") in the church and therefore to the ordination of women as priests. If "submission" is but for societal peace and order, an order of creation for "the hardness of your hearts", then it is indeed "fitting in the Lord" to move toward the heavenly ideal of "all one" in Christ.
      Although ethics is so often relative, we do well to remember that whatever we do, we should do it for the Lord.

v19
      agapate (agapaw) pres. imp. "love" - compassion. Maintain the habit of loving. Given the use of this word in the New Testament, "love" here does not mean friendship love, or sexual love. Other words would be employed if these meanings were intended. Paul is referring to Christian love, Christ-like love, compassion. A relationship based on self-giving, on mutual submission, could never harshly subject a female partner.
      mh pikrainesqe (pikrainw) pres. pas. imp. "do not be harsh" - bitter toward, harsh, embittered ...... leaning toward aggression. The negative command is a "don't do" rather than a "stop doing."
      proV + acc. "with [them]" - against.

v20
      uJpakouete (uJpakouw) pres. imp. "obey" - The imperfect imperative has durative force, so "continue to obey."
      kata panta "in everything" - in all respects, at every point.... Of course, it is assumed that the parents would not ask a child to do something against the Lord, although even here, a child that is not of age should obey their parents, even if the command is against the Lord. In this situation, the parents are responsible for the child's actions.
      gar "for" - Giving the reason why.
      euareston adj. "pleasing" - acceptable. Conduct which is proper, acceptable to God. When translated as "pleasing", we imply that God emotionally responds to our mere righteousness in a positive way, when in fact, "our righteousness is but filthy rags." The only behavior pleasing to God is Christ's righteousness and our reliance on it through repentance and faith. For our part, we remain unworthy sinners.
      en kuriw dat. "to the Lord" - Again we have this interesting phrase, see v18. The NIV has read the preposition with the dative as a simple dative, ie. what is pleasing "to the Lord". As in v18, it possibly means those who belong to the Lord, "in the Lord", ie. Christians, believers. Obeying our parents is the proper duty of those "who own Christ as Lord", O'Brien. The phrase could also be conditional. In this case, there would be an implied dative for "acceptable", either "to God" or "to Christ", followed by a conditional clause, "provided that the children's obedience is intended to honour the Lord."

v21
      mh ereqizete (ereqizw) imp. "do not embitter" - do not embitter, provoke, exasperate, make angry.
      iJna mh + subj. Expressing a negative purpose
      aqumwsin (aqumew) subj. "they will become discouraged" - discouraged, despondent, morose, lose heart. Possibly, "become timid."

v22
      kata sarka "earthly" - according flesh. A prepositional phrase functioning as an adjective. Possibly "human masters", as opposed to heavenly.
      mh en ofqalmadoulia/ (a) dat. "not only when their eye is on you" - not with eye-service. Service that is an external performance, service that is only performed when the master is watching, or service that is performed to gain kudos.
      wJV anqrwpareskoi adj. "to win their favor" - as men-pleasers. The adjective is used as a substantive and with the comparative particle, forms the clause "as someone who wants to please others" (assuming this is an ellipsis, ie. missing some words in the Greek that would normally go to make up the clause), so the NIV "to" or "in order to please others".
      en + dat. The preposition here is read as indicating attendant circumstances. The servant is to serve with sincerity.
      aplothti (hV htoV) "sincerity" - sincerity, simplicity, uprightness.
      kardiaV (a) gen. "of heart" - The genitive may be adjectival, "heartfelt sincerity" , or a genitive of reference, a sincerity in relation to the heart, so NIV. A genuine conscious sincerity that stems from an inward motivation.
      foboumenoi (fobew) pres. pas. part. "reverence" - fear, afraid. The participle is probably causal, "because you fear the Lord." The word "fear" is best understood as "reverential fear" - awe, wander, reverence, respect...
      ton kurion "the Lord" - Obviously, "Christ" is intended. The motivation for our sincerity toward our employer stems from our relationship with the Lord of the universe.

v23
      oJ ean + subj. "Whatever" - The neuter of the relative pronoun plus the particle "if" serves to introduce a relative clause that forms the protasis of a conditional sentence. "Whatever you are doing ....."
      ek yuchV "with all your heart" - from soul. The phrase is adverbial, "heartily / gladly / enthusiastically."
      wJV "as" - Here the particle expresses a subjective motivation. We are "working" (ellipsis) with the thought that we are actually doing it for Jesus and not just our employer.
      tw/ kuriw/ "for the Lord" - A dative of interest, done "out of respect for the Lord."

v24
      eidonteV oJti "because you know" - knowing that. A phrase used by Paul to introduce an accepted fact.
      thV klhronomiaV "[you will receive] an inheritance" - of the inheritance. Gk. "you will receive the recompense of the inheritance", that consists of the inheritance, ie. a genitive of definition. The presence of the article may indicate that it is a particular inheritance well known to the readers, ie. eternity.
      apo kuriou (oV) gen. "from the Lord" - from a Lord. Lightfoot stresses the indefinite article, "however you may be treated by your earthly masters, you still have a Master who will recompense you."
      thn antapodosin (iV ewV) "as a reward" - a recompense, whether positive or negative, which is given to someone on the basis of, or in exchange for what has been done*. Yet, note that the sense of the word "reward" here is given in the context of a slave who receives no reward and of an inheritance that is already promised to those in Christ. There is no idea here of a heavenly reward for faithful service to a master. The reward is already promised; an inheritance that no one can take from us.
      douleuete (douleuw) pres. ind/imp. "you are serving" - you serve. The verb may be indicative, as in the NIV, or imperative, "serve the Lord Christ", "Christ is the master whose slaves you must be", NEB.

v25
      gar "-" - for. It is interesting to note that if Paul intended a negative contrast to the eternal reward of v24, he would have used the adversive "but", instead he says "for the one doing wrong will be repaid." So, the clause is not necessarily a counter to the eternal reward of v24, but is possibly a reminder of the present implications facing a slave who does not "obey" their earthly master. This in turn, deals with the problem of identifying the "anyone". Are these words to slaves or to masters? Commentators are divided, but the problem stems from the widespread view that believers will face punishment, for deeds done, in the day of judgment, a view that flies in the face of the doctrine of justification. It is true that "we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each may receive what is due to him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad", but as long as we are in Christ, we are judged on the basis of what Christ has done and therefore receive what is due Christ, not what is due us. There may well be reward in the sense of greater responsibility given to those who have proved to be more responsible, but the notion of punishment for failings during our Christian life is an anathema. So, Paul's warning here is for disobedient slaves who will inevitably face due punishment from their earthly masters.
      oJ ... adikwn (adikew) part. "anyone who does wrong" - the one doing wrong. Forming a substantive, "the wrongdoer."
      komisetai (komizw) fut. "will be repaid" - will get back, reap the reward, be repaid. The wrongdoer will reap the reward for the wrong things they have done.
      oJ hdikhsen (adikew) aor. "for his wrong" - what he did wrong. The aorist verb is probably gnomic as in the NEB, "the wrong things he does."
      proswpolhmyia (a) "favoritism" - favoritism, partiality. Commentators add either "with God" or "with the Lord", but it also possibly "with a master." A Christian slave cannot expect preferential treatment. Where there is wrongdoing, all slaves face punishment. So, obedience is encouraged, but an obedience that comes from the heart.