"Whatever you do... do it all in the name of the Lord", 3:17. Paul now gets into the practical business of doing all in the name of the Lord. In particular, he looks at family life. The family was the center of ancient society and many literary treatments on household ethics, duties and administration, were produced for general consumption. In fact, their form is very similar to Paul's summary of behavior in the Christian family. As can be seen from Paul's list, the family is wider than our Western nuclear family. The extended family includes slaves. Paul presents the "house tables" (Luther) in three sets of correlative pairs.

v18. In Christ there is neither male nor female. We are all one. Yet, this heavenly reality does not supersede the reality of created human existence. Not only did God create "kinds", but ordered the hierarchy of created "kinds". This order allows society to function in peace and so gives us the space to search out the living God. Yet, the heavenly reality should, where possible, emancipate the practical necessities of life. So, a wife should "submit" to her husband, but only as "is fitting in the Lord." The principle of "oneness" in Christ will humanize the relationship between a husband and a wife, moving it toward partnership rather than subjection.

v19. In the ancient world, a wife had little redress under the law. A husband could mistreat his wife with impunity. Yet, such behavior is not acceptable in the Christian fellowship. A husband, because of his position of power, is not to harm his wife. A husband is to love his wife. "Love" is used here in the sense of "care" (compassion), not sexual affection.

v20. Ancient household rules required children to obey their parents, and Paul affirms that this rule also stands in the Christian home. It is assumed, of course, that believing parents will only ask their children to act in a way that is "acceptable" (rather than "pleasing") to God.

v21. If children are to obey, parents are not to be harsh. Parents must not be unreasonable in their demands such that their children loose heart. Such discipline makes sense, for as an old saying puts it, "a father who is always threatening does not receive much reverence." In Ephesians, Paul gives the positive side when he writes, "bring them up in the nurture and instruction of the Lord", Eph.6:4.

v22-24. For some reason, Paul has quite a bit to say about slacking slaves. Don't be men-pleases, but work with all your heart. Work with the thought that you are working for Jesus. Again, Paul accepts the existing social framework, although as slavery is not within God's design for society he certainly does not encourage the institution. In fact, elsewhere he encourages slaves to seek freedom (legally), where possible. Ultimately, all believers are freedmen in Christ, 1Cor.7:21-22.

v25. This warning is directed particularly to the Christian slaves at Colossae. They are reminded that just because they are believers, even possibly working for a Christian master, they are not immune from a master's punishment. This, in itself, is a good reason to be obedient, but let their obedience come from the heart.

4:1. As slaves have duties, so have masters. They should treat their slaves with the same consideration they desire from their Master in heaven. In writing to Philemon, Paul suggests he should actually consider freeing his slave Onesimus, v12-14.

Paul doesn't seek to reshape the social structure of Roman society in the first century, but he certainly wants to Christianize the way believers function within it. This means that we are left with ethical principles for the development of personal relationships that apply to any social structure which serves to provide social order, while at the same time being less than the heavenly ideal. So, with our eyes set on the heavenly ideal of "all one", while at the same time accepting the limitations of the secular given, let us strive to peacefully image the heavenly reality in our own life, in that of our Christian fellowship and in the wider secular community.

When we look back and consider the evil of slavery, it is encouraging to know that Christians led the charge to outlaw what was clearly an evil human activity. Yet, those changes were only made in recent history. Christians did not quickly move from humanizing (Christianizing) the institution to outlawing the institution. Thankfully, a recognition of the injustice of slavery prompted a wider concern for the exploitation of the poor in workhouse or factory, such that today, the notion of "a fair day's pay for a fair day's work" is the norm, not the exception.

Marriage has similarly become a difficult ethical area for believers. Most people today see marriage as a partnership of compatible equals, each sharing their particular natural abilities for the development of their family. In western societies, the notion of a wife's "submission" is foreign outside Christian (and Islamic/ethnic - old world) circles. This issue extends to the role of "elder" ("bishop") in the church and therefore to the ordination of women as priests. If "submission" is but for societal peace and order, an order of creation for "the hardness of your hearts", then it is indeed "fitting in the Lord" to move toward the heavenly ideal of "all one" in Christ.

Although ethics is so often relative, we do well to remember that whatever we do, we should do it for the Lord.

Some churches retain a male priesthood on the basis of tradition. Is such a stance contrary to scripture?